Surrogacy can be a method to have a baby if one or both the parents have fertility issues. Getting a baby from a surrogate mother may be a stressful experience and may bring new lifestyle changes to your life.
Lifestyle for New Parents
Getting a new baby will mean a few lifestyle changes. You will have to arrange a room for the baby and get all the needed baby supplies. Either you or your partner will have to get at least 2 months off work to be able to sit with the newborn. It is not recommended to get a baby sitter during the first weeks or months, as you won’t be able to develop a proper relationship with the baby.
You will decide what to tell your family and friends about the baby and what you will tell the child. Regardless of your decision, you will have to make sure the people around you know the same story, so that your child won’t accidentally hear a different story.
Accepting the Baby
You will have to accept the baby as your own, otherwise you won’t be able to develop a normal, loving relationship. The baby will accept the parents and will not differentiate between the biological mother and the intended mother. He will only feel a bond with the person offering him affection.
Dealing with Stress
If having a new baby from a surrogate mother is a source of stress, you will have to find means to de-stress. Choose a new hobby, take up a new sport or get advice from a counseling professional. Counseling is also recommended if you have any issues with getting a child from a surrogate mother.
Make sure you get enough sleep, as the lack of sleep can intensify stress. Take turns with your partner when to stay up during the nighttime, if need be to assist the baby. If you are a single parent, get family and friends to help you.
Relationship with Surrogate Mother
You and your partner will decide the nature of the relationship with the surrogate mother. Some intended parents will accept the surrogate mother as part of their lives and will allow the biological mother (if the surrogate used her eggs) to visit the baby. Other parents decide not to keep in touch with the surrogate mother.
In this respect, there is no right or wrong way. However, if you decide you accept the surrogate mother in your lives, make sure she is in a stable psychological condition, as otherwise she may want to get the baby back and this will create a few problems.