Holidays are always fun
.. Turkey, Snow, caroling, family dinners, crowded malls, -parents and their children, church services and more families with kids excited about Santa's coming and the presents they've been eagerly waiting for
. Although most of us know the true meaning of Christmas, it is sometimes hard when "Tis the Season" sometimes emphasizes what you're missing, given the circumstances
which in this case is wanting a baby. You're faced with lots of questions. How do you handle your feelings of heartbreak and sincere but daunting questions about "when are you going to have a baby?" Fortunately you aren't alone in these feelings. We all go through this and there is help out there. After researching a lot of infertility websites I found the lesson in this is that it is ok to indulge yourself and ok to avoid situations that you feel will be to hard for you to handle right now. Hope the list of tips below wilI help ease some of your stress and help you to cope and try to be "jolly" in your own way. Realize that there will be insensitive questions. Prepare yourself now for them because they will come. Rehearse your responses to these questions; it will make it easier for you to handle the situation when it arises. It is ok to say "no, we really can't make it this year." Don't be a hermit either. Participate in an act of kindness for someone else. Helping others can help us forget our own troubles for a while. Some suggestions are volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter, take some cookies to a nursing home, invite a lonely neighbor for your holiday meal and go out and help a single mother with her kids. Take care of yourself! Take a day before the bustle begins to relax, read a book, take a bubble bath, go for a long walk (if you can) etc. Pamper yourself!!! Pay attention to where you go. If crowds of large families are too much for you there are things you can do. Go to a midnight church service Christmas Eve instead of the earlier one. There will be few children there. Try shopping at smaller boutiques instead of crowded malls where you will inevitably see large families and screaming kids. Shopping from a catalog or giving an unusual or homemade gift is an excellent idea also. Make sure to communicate your feelings! Don't lock your feelings inside. If you feel like crying that is fine. Share how these holidays are affecting you with significant other. Together you can make it through. There are some excellent sites devoted specifically to coping with the holidays. www.hannah.org
is a great starting site in your search to beat the holiday blues. It covers all holidays, and lists relevant links for help. A second website www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/8207/holidays.html
with Here come the holidays
is a site created by a mother who has lost a child. These are her personal revelations on how she deals with the holidays. It is very emotional and very helpful. The final website I wanted to share with you for great holiday coping tips and ideas was www.resolve.org
which contains a wide-ranging list of do's and don'ts for the holidays in their great resourses section. I wish all of you luck and joy as we come into this holiday season. May we all find peace and happiness in our search for a baby and our battle to keep our spirits uplifted?