December 2006 Blog Archive
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Dealing with Infertility during the Holidays!
Holidays are always funâ€¦.. Turkey, Snow, caroling, family dinners, crowded malls, -parents and their children, church services and more families with kids excited about Santa's coming and the presents they've been eagerly waiting forâ€¦. Although most of us know the true meaning of Christmas, it is sometimes hard when "Tis the Season" sometimes emphasizes what you're missing, given the circumstancesâ€¦â€¦ which in this case is wanting a baby. You're faced with lots of questions. How do you handle your feelings of heartbreak and sincere but daunting questions about "when are you going to have a baby?" Fortunately you aren't alone in these feelings. We all go through this and there is help out there. After researching a lot of infertility websites I found the lesson in this is that it is ok to indulge yourself and ok to avoid situations that you feel will be to hard for you to handle right now.
Hope the list of tips below wilI help ease some of your stress and help you to cope and try to be "jolly" in your own way.
â€¢Realize that there will be insensitive questions. Prepare yourself now for them because they will come. Rehearse your responses to these questions; it will make it easier for you to handle the situation when it arises. It is ok to say "no, we really can't make it this year." Don't be a hermit either.
â€¢Participate in an act of kindness for someone else. Helping others can help us forget our own troubles for a while. Some suggestions are volunteer at a soup kitchen or shelter, take some cookies to a nursing home, invite a lonely neighbor for your holiday meal and go out and help a single mother with her kids.
â€¢Take care of yourself! Take a day before the bustle begins to relax, read a book, take a bubble bath, go for a long walk (if you can) etc. Pamper yourself!!!
â€¢Pay attention to where you go. If crowds of large families are too much for you there are things you can do. Go to a midnight church service Christmas Eve instead of the earlier one. There will be few children there. Try shopping at smaller boutiques instead of crowded malls where you will inevitably see large families and screaming kids. Shopping from a catalog or giving an unusual or homemade gift is an excellent idea also.
â€¢Make sure to communicate your feelings! Don't lock your feelings inside. If you feel like crying that is fine. Share how these holidays are affecting you with significant other. Together you can make it through.
There are some excellent sites devoted specifically to coping with the holidays. www.hannah.org
is a great starting site in your search to beat the holiday blues. It covers all holidays, and lists relevant links for help. A second website www.geocities.com/Heartland/Ranch/8207/holidays.html
with Here come the holidays
is a site created by a mother who has lost a child. These are her personal revelations on how she deals with the holidays. It is very emotional and very helpful. The final website I wanted to share with you for great holiday coping tips and ideas was www.resolve.org
which contains a wide-ranging list of do's and don'ts for the holidays in their great resourses section.
I wish all of you luck and joy as we come into this holiday season. May we all find peace and happiness in our search for a baby and our battle to keep our spirits uplifted?
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Top 10 Infertility Myths -From Kim Elise Goldman -About.com
Fertility and infertility are areas that invite a lot of speculation and myth. The problem is that most of the things you'll think are common knowledge aren't born out by medical science. Here are some of the most common myths about trying to get pregnant busted
1) Myth: Getting pregnant is easy.
About one in ten couples will have trouble conceiving, that's about 5-6 million couples per year.
2) Myth: If you have periods, you'll get pregnant.
Fertility can be affected, even without disruption to the menstrual cycle. A period does not ensure you are ovulating or releasing an egg.
3) Myth: If you adopt, you'll get pregnant.
There is nothing to substantiate this claim. It's a hurtful and harmful statement to couples undergoing infertility.
4) Myth: Fertility problems are always the woman.
An equal number of fertility problems occur in men as in women.
5) Myth: If you're over 35, you need to seek fertility treatment immediately.
Not so! While your fertility does decrease with age, many women at 35 will have no problems getting pregnant. The recommendation is to seek treatment after six months of actively trying to get pregnant, with appropriate timing and no use of birth control, rather than waiting for the period of one year.
6) Myth: Your fertility problems are all in your head.
Fertility issues are not psychological, but physical. There are physical reasons that you are not getting pregnant. Your fertility doctor or reproductive endocrinologist can help you figure out what your specific issues are and try to help you overcome them. However, about 10% of all reasons for infertility are unexplained, but that's doesn't mean they are in your head, just not as obvious as an ovulation disorder or sperm issue.
7) Myth: If you want it enough, it will happen.
While new technologies are helping more and more families conceive, there are some families who will never be successful in achieving pregnancy. The amount of time, effort and money may or may not have anything to do with your chances of conceiving. Infertility is not something that everyone will be able to overcome.
8) Myth: Infertility will break up your marriage.
While infertility is emotional and physically draining and financially costly, this does not necessarily mean that the marriage will fail. Constant communication, therapy and other forms of help will assist the couple in keeping their marriage on track for them. Issues of guilt, blame and sorrow are all a part of the grieving and processing that couples need to work with to come to a solution for their family.
9) Myth: If you've previously had a baby, then you're not infertile.
Secondary infertility is a real problem. Simply having a previous child does not mean that you can't experience fertility problems when you attempt to get pregnant again. Perhaps either your or your husband has a new medical issue or surgery to contend with, or maybe things just worked out in your favor the first time. Secondary infertility is real and does cause pain.
10) Myth: You can self medicate to get pregnant with things like cough syrup.
It is never wise to try to self medicate or diagnose your fertility problems. Don't buy into what you may read on message boards or over hear at a coffee shop. Taking medications that aren't prescribed for you can be harmful, even something as simple as cough medicine. Also seek professional help in diagnosis and treatment of fertility problems.