When you are dealing with infertility, you find yourself frequently discussing all sorts of different medical issues. Your ovaries are a topic of dinner table conversation. You suddenly learn a new language which includes words like “in vitro” that you really only moderately understood before they deeply affected you. But even though you get all of this medical knowledge, you may find that an important aspect of your medical condition is left untouched in discussions. Eggs and sperm and surrogacy may all be open for everyone’s opinions but the thing that no one wants to talk about is your psychological state.
Infertility is a sensitive issue that comes along with many emotional ups and downs. The feelings that you’ll go through as you undergo the different parts of the fertility process may surprise you. You didn’t realize that you’d feel like a failure because you can’t seem to get pregnant. You didn’t know that you’d be angry at your spouse for not being able to understand what you’re going through. Nobody could have explained to you the intensity of the sadness that sometimes comes over you as you realize that maybe you just don’t want to deal with this process anymore. Worst of all, you may feel alienated because no one is really talking about the psycho-social side of your problems with fertility.
Don’t discount the importance of dealing with these feelings as they arise. Working with a counselor and/or family counselor who specializes in fertility issues can be a life-saving investment in your own future. Even just keeping a journal and talking openly and regularly with a few good friends can make a world of difference in your ability to cope with the ups and downs of infertility. The emotions will come so develop your support system in preparation for dealing with them. That bundle of joy at the end of that path will be well worth your travails.
